I used to think that i should stop calling myself a drunk. lol but unfortunately apparantly whenever I find or make five dollars, the first thing I wanna do is buy vodka, same way sis wants to buy cigarrettes. Of course, my habit makes me a little bit more inhospitable, when named in reality....drunk. Ha and, my sis hides her habit. I try but appparantly I can't with family or friends. So, short story is, I have been drinking vodka again..but very carefully. Isn't that what we all say? Fully functioning. No one (but my sister) will know? Do I plan to stop? I hope so because life has been so much better without it. and I CAN go without it. So the question is, why do I choose it? No big black man to take the pain away? lol.
Speaking of, I got off the phone with Lamont a few minutes ago, and for the first time in weeks, I'll say, I cried like a baby.
Out loud.
Like, talked and scream-cried. :)
He still has his girlfriend. I think he just calls me. well at this point he calls me back when I call, like for maintanence :) and when I say yes I am happy for you and I know she must be nice.....wait
haven't I said this all before?
It doesn't matter does it. I truly can't think about being with Jack until I am over Lamont. I can't be with anyone really. Of course, do I wanna be with anyone else? I already knew that I should be alone, right? And it's not like I can't have guy friends...Twan called yesterday lol. Well this post is just gone to shit. So dont tell any one i cried over that sam l jackson lookin man with a missing front tooth who can eat pussy better than anyone i will ever meet.
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