I am here with Twan at this very second. he got a library card so i could check out books in his name. but just as we set down here to check his email, guess who calls?
why am i still here, doing this to myself. tonight will be the first night we have to sleep outside in the rain. i know he's about to shit himself at the thought of it, but as i told him, i think he might survive. jeez. he still didn't get that carberator fixed for his friend today, but they dropped it off somewhere to have someone look at it later.
i didn't go to the micah center this morning, so i didn't see D. or the old white guy. but at least i have old white guys number. i need to call, but of course i know if i do call and decide to move in, twan most certainly cannot come with me. i hate being jealous. its not even like i'm jealous really. its more like i am fucking sick of having to pretend i am invisible around her. last night i had to fucking wait outside the damn parking lot where my fucking sleeping bag was because her car was still there and he was still with her.
if he loves me, or even just being friends with me, why do i have to be fucking invisible?????
oh well. maybe he will be off the phone soon. as least i don't have to hear the corny conversation.